Conservation

President Obama, Please Don't Kill the Whales

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Remains of a HumpbackRemains of a Humpback

Oh, Barack.

You know I love you. You know I cried both when you were elected and when you were sworn in. You know I defend you to my entire conservative family and my conservative friends, and that I appreciate the things you’ve done—over 100—that you did promise to do when office.

And as your supporter, I also forgive you when you forget promises that you made. But when your forget, I’d like you to please listen to us when we try to help you remember. For example, you promised to save whales and to not allow commercial whaling to happen when you were campaigning. Animal activists were so thrilled—I remember you even trying vegan food during your campaign, actually.

But now something has gone wrong. Your new position seems to be in support of commercial whaling, and of the Japanese methods of cruel whale killing as well. Please say it isn’t so!

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Worthy Goal, Troubling Tactics

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Sailing under the Jolly Roger is a clear statement.Sailing under the Jolly Roger is a clear statement.

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Global Whaling Talks at a Standstill

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I have a solution to the global whaling debate:

Stop whaling.

Okay, I know that nobody’s going to go for that, but world leaders should at least have something in mind. So there’s only one thing to meet a standstill in whale protection decision-making like the one we saw at the International Whaling Commission this week: a very dramatic eye-roll, heavy sighing and possible gestures of disgust.

The thing is, there’s been a ban on commercial whaling since 1986—a ban that’s been completely ignored by Japan, Iceland and Norway. This complete disregard to the moratorium leaves the IWC looking like a complete joke—and, let’s face it, if they can’t enforce their rules, aren’t they?

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